Marriage on the Rocks
by Dr. Peter Newhouse • August 4, 2010 • Prescriptions for Healthy Relationships • 1 Comment
Marriage on the Rocks
by Dr. Peter Newhouse • 1 Comment
Americans stink at marriage! One of the main reasons for marriages failing is our inability to deal with change and disappointment.
Most of us believe that marriage is going to be this fun thing that happens naturally and brings happiness to our lives. We underestimate the amount of time and energy required to have a marriage that works. Marriage is hard work and having a really thriving marriage is painstakingly tough some of the time. Marriage, like parenting or anything else that you want to be good at, takes time and energy. Marriage, in my opinion, is a 24/7 proposition. It’s something that each of us needs to put our whole heart into all the time if we’re going to make it work. Don’t wait for the other person to respond better or be nicer or change a behavior. You personally need to decide to take some steps and change.
Prescription: Ask yourself, “What can I do to make my marriage better?” Turn the focus on you and your role in an attempt to enhance the satisfaction of your marriage relationship.
Americans stink at marriage! One of the main reasons for marriages failing is our inability to deal with change and disappointment.
Most of us believe that marriage is going to be this fun thing that happens naturally and brings happiness to our lives. We underestimate the amount of time and energy required to have a marriage that works. Marriage is hard work and having a really thriving marriage is painstakingly tough some of the time. Marriage, like parenting or anything else that you want to be good at, takes time and energy. Marriage, in my opinion, is a 24/7 proposition. It’s something that each of us needs to put our whole heart into all the time if we’re going to make it work. Don’t wait for the other person to respond better or be nicer or change a behavior. You personally need to decide to take some steps and change.
Prescription: Ask yourself, “What can I do to make my marriage better?” Turn the focus on you and your role in an attempt to enhance the satisfaction of your marriage relationship.
My husband and I have been married 16 years and have both been married before. The same issues come up over and over in our marriage and when we get to the breaking point God starts work in me for months and months while my husband likes me less and less and even refuses to put in any effort until I have changed the way he wants me. I get mad and frustrated and impatient. There is no marraige if only one person is committed and only one person wants to work towards a goal. This time is the worst, we don’t talk have not been intimate at all for a long long time. He said he doesn’t want to work on it he doesn’t want to work things out he doesn’t want the goal of having a good loving marraige. I made a committment to him and an oath before God that I didn’t understand with my first marriage and i take that seriously. He doesn’t want help or to read anything or anything like that so all i can do is pray and let God do his work in me.