There is debate among professional counselors as to how honest couples need to be with one another.  This can take on a complex set of circumstances for a lot of couples.

For example, let’s say your spouse has a co-worker who is clearly attracted to them. They have no interest in this co-worker and have established good boundaries. Should your spouse come home and spill every detail of the co-worker’s advances or should they just say that the co-worker is making them uncomfortable? Could your spouse make that statement and say little else and you would trust them to handle it? How would you respond? I think the answer depends on your individual circumstances.

Think about a situation where you are attracted to someone. You have no intention of doing anything about it, but it’s still a fact. What would your spouse gain by knowing this information? There is more wisdom in stepping back to consider what is lacking in your marriage that would trigger your wandering mind or eye.

The attraction is mostly likely fleeting, but the problems in your relationship won’t be short-lived without your attention. However, if you are struggling with this attraction, and it is taking over your thought life, it might be in your best interest to discuss it with a close friend who can help you pray about how to stop the feelings you’re experiencing.

Having wisdom and clear, open communication leads to trust over all in the marriage. This allows for discretion and each spouse to make good judgments about what to share. Seek wisdom and error on the side of openness and honesty when it comes to your spouse and your marriage.