One study I recently read (Adolescent Maltreatment and Its Impact: Timing Matters), said that defiance, drug use, alcohol-related problems, teenage pregnancy, and school dropout are all issues that significantly relate to abuse and neglect done to the teen.

Prevention measures includes close accountability (keeping track of where they are going and who they are going with) of our children and teenagers. Keeping them out of harms way as much as possible is of utmost importance. Also educating them and having open communication are two other keys in the protection of our kids.

Prescription:  Look at the boundaries you’ve set up for your kids and make sure they’re effective in protecting them from harm.

Come join us for an amazing week of family camping with all the fun you can handle including horseback riding, ropes courses, laying at the beach, playing in the lake, crafts, late night marshmallow roasting…all the things that make lifelong memories for families. For the 5th year in a row, Doug Swink will be speaking on marriage and family issues with his down-to-earth style and signature humor.

The dates for this special family camp are July 23-29, 2012. Visit the Cran-Hill Ranch website for information and camp registration.

Most of us usually see what we want to see about ourselves and our marriage. That’s why it’s important to share openly and honestly about yourself by expressing your true thoughts. Maybe more important and difficult is being willing to listen to input that others are giving about what they see in you. This input needs to come from those you trust and who really know and love you.

Prescription: Schedule some alone time with your spouse to talk about these sensitive areas. 

I watched this happen a few times before I decided to take action. The next time her husband walked in the house, I immediately ran up to him and started cooing phrases in a high-pitched voice like, “Come here baby. Come see me. Papa missed you so much!” Now at first the guy kind of freaked out until he realized that I was showing him the same attention his wife shows the dog. After a couple of times, when he walked in the door, he started aiming right for me, wagging his tail because everybody loves to be encouraged.

Do you speak as nicely to the people in your home as you do your pets? Now I know there are people reading this and defending their actions by saying, “Well my pet never discourages me, is always happy to be with me, and never talks back to me.” I would argue and say, “I bet you didn’t appreciate it when your pet soiled that special something.” No, I think many of us give the benefit to the animals and the bellyaching to the humans.

The Center for Disease Control sites several reasons why pets are beneficial to humans. They believe pets can decrease blood pressure, cholesterol levels, triglyceride levels, and feelings of loneliness. They also say pets can increase your opportunities for exercise, outdoor activities, and socialization. While I believe pets can have a positive influence on humans, I don’t think they should be on the top rung of your social ladder.

Pets are typically a great example of unconditional love. No matter what you do or say, they love you the same and they’ll never leave on their own. Imagine if you showed the same attention and respect to your spouse as you do your pet. Wouldn’t they also show you unconditional love? People respond to each other based on how they are treated by another person. Animals are the same way. If you walked in the house and used a low, firm voice with your dog, for example, they would probably back away from you and its tail would not be wagging.

As the saying goes, you reap what you sow. How you are treated by people is usually the result of how well you treat them. Although some people who are treated poorly can still rise above those circumstances and treat others with kindness, the majority of people will tend to treat people by example shown to them.

I challenge you this month in celebration of Valentine’s Day to try something different. The next time your spouse comes in the room or through the back door, give them as much applause and attention as you would your dog or any other pet. See if that doesn’t make a difference in their response. Everyone loves to be greeted with joy and enthusiasm accompanied by a bright smile.

We as a culture hold marriage in low esteem and have begun to consider other possibilities as acceptable. Even divorce is more mainstream, if not even celebrated. This does not bode well for our society as marriage is considered fundamental to the growth of a community.

It’s important that you understand why maintaining your marriage is not only critical for you and your family but for society as a whole.

Prescription: Commit to do whatever it takes to maintain a marriage for life.

It’s amazing how human the equipment sounds when you’ve gone against their recommendation. Maybe that happens in your marriage or family too. Your spouse does something in opposition to you or your kids travel down a different road than you would like. Your voice probably sounds exasperated too.

It’s possible, however, that there is a good reason for taking a new path instead of the familiar trail. Maybe you’ve been going the distance in your marriage or family, using the same route and feeling like you’re spinning your wheels. Maybe with the advent of a new year, it’s time to change the direction or simply make an unexpected turn down an unfamiliar street and rev up the engine.

I know one couple who has four children and their life is pretty hectic, which means they rarely spend any time together. Each child is in a different sport or activity and both parents work. It’s like everyone drives by each other and waves, but nobody stops and actually gets out of the car to connect. Finally, this couple decided it was time to recalculate their route.

They sat down one evening and mapped out how they could make it happen. They wanted at least two nights per week when the whole family could sit down for dinner. Currently, it only happened sporadically by sheer luck. That was no longer working. Nobody was connecting and the family was not eating healthy. Dinner consisted of packaged, frozen, or fast food. The lack of contact with each other, along with the poor menu choices, could lead to emotional and health problems that will eventually affect work and school performance.

The change did wonders to ignite their relationships and help them back on the road to success.

For another couple, who are empty-nesters that have been married more than 30 years, it might take more than a new itinerary to bridge their gap. She is involved in her own activities and spends most evenings out with friends, while he’s become more sedentary and enjoys staying home to watch television. It didn’t appear they had any common interests. While content, because it was comfortable and familiar, it wasn’t healthy for their relationship. It was time to recalculate their route.

They began with trying to find a way to spend time together doing something they both enjoyed. They had played a lot of cards when they were dating, so they began there and finally found a card club to join. That led to meeting other couples whom they both enjoy and soon the shuffling around led to a newly-found passion for each other. They discovered that by seeking ways to recalculate their new life without children and beginning a journey with just each other, they could look forward to living the next years of their life with joy and romance.

If you find you are missing opportunities by always traveling the same route in your life, make an unexpected turn and recalculate your route. Not with irritation or annoyance, but with joy and anticipation of what lies ahead just around the bend.