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Join M4L Today...
Join a growing list of couples who are committed to marriage for life.
Kill the "Zingers"
One negative comment to your spouse will offset twenty-five wonderful statements you have already made. Work at speaking "kind" to your mate. See how long you can go without saying anything harmful.
Question:
How can you make sure you stop yourself before saying something hurtful to your spouse?
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By - Michael from Demopolis, Al on 07/24/2008
My mouth gets me in trouble most of the time. I have an opinion about everything, just ask me I will tell you! I make myself go back and tell my wife I am sorry anytime I speak in a dishonoring tone or rude. I figure sooner or later I will think before I speak. Hopeful it will help.
By - Mike from Holland,MI on 07/24/2008
In your mind, picture your spouse saying this to you, before you say it to them. Don't just replace it with that look!
By - Summer from Detroit, MI on 07/23/2008
Honestly I would say a lot of times when spouses are quick to say something mean spirited it is because there are some unresolved issues beneath the surface. If that is the case I would encourage you to sit before the Lord and forgive your mate and release your pain, hurt, anger, etc to Him. Believe me this works great! I understand this may not always be what is causing you to say hurtful things but evaluate your heart to see if it is. Blessings!
By - Deb from Thomasville, NC on 07/22/2008
One rule we have tried to follow in our family and it works just as well in marriage is... "If you don't have something nice to say... then don't say anything at all."
By - Gary from Myrtle Beach, SC on 07/22/2008
You need to ask how you got to that point to begin with. Start each day with a “Prayer of Blessing” to your spouse. Know that there will be powers of darkness working against you each day. When you said “I DO” you became one, when you hurt the one, you are destroying the two. You don’t spend $200,000 on a home or 20,000 on a car without thinking about it first, how much more is your relationship and marriage worth. I pray millions!!
By - Marie from Grand Rapids, MI on 07/22/2008
Ask if you would want the words said to you first. Always start with heart in a heated discussion. If you start with heart you are keeping the other persons and your feelings out in the open.
By - Tim from Austin TX on 07/22/2008
Ask yourself before you say something hurtful " would I say this in this tone to Mark my life long friend since highschool? Julia is my best friend and a part of me. That has worked for 17 years. God Bless you guys we both love your e-mails. Tim Valentine
By - Amber from mi on 07/22/2008
We should try to say a little prayer first, to help you communicate what you want to say in a nicer way.
By - Leann from Saugatuck, MI on 07/22/2008
I think you should think about what you are going to say to yourself first and decide how you would feel if your spouse said it to you. Also consider if it's constructive critisism where it will better the other person or if it will never matter being said or not.
