Avoid the “B” Word


I know a group of guys who meet weekly to keep each other accountable for their family and faith. They gather before sunrise, drink some coffee, and discuss how they’re doing overall as businessmen, dads, and husbands. They don’t have a lot rules, but there is one that is unexpected. No one can say the “b” word. It’s hard to believe that men of faith need a rule about that word, but they all have jobs, families, and outside interests. So, when they’re confronted about falling short in some area of their life, maybe it’s not surprising they can’t use the “b” word—busy—as an excuse.

Why? Because everybody is busy! It’s practically a national epidemic that I think in some ways is killing families. People consider busyness a virtue. They are equating it to a sign of importance. However, while it feels like people are seemingly busier, they are probably less productive and more anxious and stressed. The truth is that busyness is being passed down to each generation. Children see how busy their parents are and they adopt the same mindset, believing that busyness equals worthiness or value. However, in actuality, busyness doesn’t really add anything to our lives—it detracts from them.

When we’re busy, we can’t really tune in to what our spouse or children are saying. We may act as though we are, but our minds are going in so many directions we’re probably missing the little nuances in a conversation or the body language that’s not quite matching the words we’re hearing. How many times has someone asked you in the course of a conversation, “So, what did you do today?” and you can’t exactly pinpoint what you did. You remember being busy, but you can’t recall what really kept you busy.

The guys I mentioned earlier meet weekly to challenge each other to not allow busyness to be an excuse for not spending time with their wife and family. Today, I’m encouraging you to evaluate why you are so busy and ask what you could change in your life in order to win more often at home.