Breaking Through

Recently my wife and I had a disagreement over something that was absolutely silly. It escalated and went on for a day or so where we just seemed to stay sideways with each other. It wasn’t really a yelling match, it was more of a stay-on-your-own turf and don’t cross over onto the other ones, out of fear that everything will escalate again. We eventually broke though the barriers by embracing the following ideas.

First, we agreed to move forward. Sometimes you can’t get to the next level if everything you talk about has to do with the previous level. So we agreed to disagree and then agreed to move forward and not talk about what had happened. I’m not suggesting you neglect something significant, but if it’s a trivial issue, then move forward.

Second, we looked for ways to encourage each other. It’s not easy to identify positives in the middle of seeing only negative things, but it’s important you try. Get the momentum moving in the right direction.

Third, and probably one of the most important things you’ll ever do in your marriage, is to practice forgiveness. Allow your spouse to make mistakes or what you perceive as mistakes and then make sure you forgive them. It’s vital for getting to the next level and overcoming your differences.

Lastly, do something fun together. It’s really important to make sure you take that step by doing an activity that you both enjoy. We took a walk together. We laughed and we cut up. I was playful on the walk and we ended up straightening out our relationship.


Winning At Home encourages people at all ages and stages of
family development to lead Christ-centered homes.