Focusing on the Positive


Have you ever realized how easy it is to notice the flaws of the people in your family? Take a moment to think about how quickly you can pick out bad habits that you see in your spouse or kids. In fact, it’s so easy to see that it’s almost like you’re looking into a full-length mirror because of the amount of visibility you have when it comes to their problems and shortcomings. It’s not like a countertop mirror or one of those small pocket mirrors that you’re just peering into. The whole family can see the full length when it comes to the faults and flaws of each person in the house.

Even though that sounds pretty negative, you need to know that noticing those things is perfectly normal. The people who you spend the most time around are bound to be the people that you know the best—and that includes knowing their weaknesses and failures. The issue arises because so often, a home becomes a place where everybody’s flaws are talked about and pointed out and made fun of. If that becomes a pattern, then our homes become places where sarcasm and faultfinding turn into bitterness, anger, and disgust for one another.

You’re obviously going to notice things about your spouse or kids that annoy or frustrate you, but that doesn’t mean that you have to react badly in the moment. The important thing is how you respond when you notice those things! We can get so focused on our family members’ shortcomings that we actually forget to celebrate our loved ones for who they are. Each of us need to make sure that’s happening in our homes because even the people who you are absolutely sure know that you love them still need to hear it from you!

Think about how special you feel when somebody notices something positive about you and points it out and celebrates you. Maybe it’s your thoughtfulness, commitment, hard work, kindness, or positivity. There are so many possibilities because the key is being celebrated for something that we deeply value about ourselves, which really brings each of us to life! And knowing how life-giving it is to receive a compliment like that should motivate us to give those same kinds of compliments to our loved ones. Everybody enjoys being celebrated and appreciated.

It sounds almost too simple to actually work, but when we cut out the negative, critical spirit and instead choose to make our home a place of positivity and peace, we’ll see our spouse and kids thrive in ways we otherwise wouldn’t. When we take a moment to choose to focus on the positive, even when that takes more work, we’ll be winning more often at home.