Fulfill Your Destiny


Somebody on my staff recently told me about a couple she’d just met. Initially, she and her spouse met with the husband of this couple during some business dealings. She wanted to share this story with me because she was so impressed with how this man talked about his wife. It was always positive! It was so evident that he adored and respected his wife. In fact, my friend commented that even after 40 years of marriage, it was clear this man was still smitten. It was inevitable my friend was going to meet this man’s wife, and because of the way he talked about her, she couldn’t wait. When she finally did, she claims everything he said about her was true.

Therefore, I need to ask the obvious question. How do you talk about your wife to others? Is your admiration and love for her apparent? This can be especially difficult when you’ve been married for a long time, because there is a tendency to think that the sheer number of years together speaks for itself. Yet, it’s important for us to set an example for others. Just like anything else in life, we need good role models. We learn so much about life from our parents’ behavior, whether it is positive or negative. The same is true about our teachers in school and our bosses. While we can learn things through reading books, our default is to learn by example.

If you constantly talk about your wife in a negative light, after a while, that’s all you’ll see. It will be the lens through which you view everything they do. Even if they do something good, you will look for an underlying negative motive. If you speak positively and with genuine love, even if you don’t feel that way in that moment, your perspective will be much more positive.

Writer and speaker Robin Sharma once said, “What you focus on grows, what you think about expands, and what you dwell upon determines your destiny.” Learn to speak more positively about your spouse, and you will fulfill your destiny to win at home.