Home Is Not a Battle Zone


Your home is not a battle zone. Somebody might be reading this and thinking, “Well, mine is!” And I get that. There are times where there will be conflict in our homes—that’s just life. But you don’t want it to be known as the place where all the battles occur. Hopefully, you see the distinction between your home being a place where conflict occurs from time to time and your home being a place of conflict. As a parent or grandparent, you have to do everything you can to make sure that your home doesn’t become a battle zone.

I fully understand that it’s easier said than done. My wife and I struggled with figuring out how to do this, especially when our kids were going through their teen years. When kids are growing up and wanting independence and identity outside of the family, it really feels like there could be a battle every time they walk through the door. But you have to decide that you’re not going to let it come to that.

Committing to making your home a safe place where the goal is peace is an adult decision, not a teen one. Come up with some ways to make sure that’s true at your house. One way to do that is by working to avoid having the same argument over and over, especially when both sides know that changing anybody’s opinion is extremely unlikely. Another way is to do your best to squash bickering and teasing when it starts rather than allowing it to continue until it devolves into a big blowup.

Again, even these tips on how to make your home more peaceful are easier said than done. If you think I’m suggesting things that we did perfectly in my family, you are very mistaken! We had ongoing arguments as well as pestering and bickering that turned into bigger issues. But what I’m saying is that my wife and I worked hard to make sure that these types of interactions didn’t become the norm in our home. And when we ran into those issues, we made it clear that the goal was to work toward peace and kindness. If you’re struggling to figure out the best way to implement some of these changes with your own family, please don’t hesitate to reach out to Winning At Home. That’s what we’re here to help people do.

Let’s continue to make sure our home is a place of peace and stability more often than not. If that’s the case, our family will know that when they are together, they’re around people who have their back and will support them. Home truly can be a place where people grow and respect each other. It doesn’t happen magically or overnight, but it is possible to create a nurturing environment where your wife and kids or grandkids feel safe and secure.

That obviously doesn’t mean you won’t have conflict and disagreements. Those things are bound to happen in any relationship that has a level of depth. You’ll have some tough discussions, and you’ll have to figure out how to grow through them. But it’s important that those conversations are not the normal way that you communicate in your home. Instead, come up with ways to make sure that the typical tone of a conversation is positive, encouraging, and uplifting. When you make your home a non-battle zone, you’ll be winning more often at home!