I Don’t Know What to Do


I continue to meet many people who say to me, “My situation or circumstances seem hopeless and I don’t know what to do.” I want to dedicate this article to those of you who continue to seek to grow as a person and in relationships with your family, even in what appears to be a dire or hopeless situation.

First, let me applaud you for your commitment to making your family healthier. There are many people who wouldn’t even try to change and would simply give up. By taking time to read this article, I know that you’re committed to wanting to grow in your relationships at home.

I think one of the first steps to growing as a person is to consider the people that make up your inner circle. These can be friends, family, or co-workers. They are people that can have significant influence in your life. With that in mind, let me challenge you to ask whether the people that are gathered around you are helping to keep you focused and pointed in the right direction.

There is no doubt that we tend to reflect the outlook and opinions of the people we hang around. If those that are around you lament your situation by telling you to just give up, then it’s going to make you feel even more helpless. That’s why it’s important that the people around you are positive, encouraging, and supportive. Now, don’t mistake these folks for a “cure-all” for you, but they can definitely be cheerleaders.

Secondly, I recommend counseling. I have sought counseling for myself in certain family situations, and found it very beneficial. There is sometimes an attitude associated with counseling that says if you go to counseling you must be uniquely messed up. I actually believe that it has helped me to become much healthier. I would equate those who say that there is no purpose for counseling with someone who might say, “I’m not going to go to the doctor even though I’m sick.” It just isn’t a helpful approach.

When you have struggles that are more than you can handle on your own, make sure you seek guidance. But again, don’t see that person as the “cure-all.” Counselors are people just like you and me, but they have special training in human behavior. They can be an objective listener who can give you tools that help you to make your own decisions to help resolve your situation.

Thirdly, I would tell you to make sure you continue to see that your life has purpose. I know today that I have a purpose on this Earth to make a difference in the area of marriage and family. I guarantee you that your life has purpose too.

It’s important for you to find purpose and meaning in your life. It may not be winning the Nobel Prize or finding a cure for cancer. Your purpose may be working to be a good dad to your children, being a good husband, or being an excellent person.

When you have those things in order, then every day you can wake up knowing that there is a reason for you to be here. With that, I expect you will find a bit of optimism. I want you to know that there is purpose and hope even in the middle of a situation where you don’t know what to do.