Locked In

The hairstyle is reminiscent of the days before the Internet. A reflection of the Madonna material girl era from the 80’s combined with a lack of imagination from the 50’s. It’s not current or trendy, and the woman who wears it seems locked into believing it’s the only style for her. While everyone around her is eager to rush her to the nearest makeover session, she’s in no hurry to change.

Wearing outdated clothes or hairstyles is not wrong, it’s just limiting in my opinion. It’s the same thing when we get locked into a certain kind of thinking or mindset. People may not notice it from the outside, but inside we’re secure in the certain way we communicate to our spouse, parent our children, or heck, even mow our lawn. Stuck might be a better word. It’s what we’ve always done. It’s comfortable, and it’s easier than changing. That’s all understandable, but what are you missing out on? By doing it one way and one way only, you could overlook opportunities to be more effective, more efficient, or more content.
People don’t always see what you see. Your perspective of another person is much more objective than their own perspective. The woman who wears the outdated hairstyle doesn’t see what you see when she looks in the mirror. She is comforted by her appearance because it’s familiar. It’s the same one she sees every day. Your spouse doesn’t hear what you hear when they speak to you. You may have to point out why their tone or inflections are hurtful or frustrating. The way we parent our children may be reflective of the way we were raised. That’s probably fine if the world never changed, but things change and some of the parenting techniques from 20 years ago aren’t effective for the way in which the world operates today.

For example, it’s more difficult to keep track of our kids and who they’re making connections with via social networking. We can have our own facebook page and insist our kids confirm us as their friend, but it’s difficult to monitor the over 500 friends they have listed. If they have cell phones, it’s even hard to eavesdrop on conversations because they may be having them in the bathroom. But because technology is so prevalent for this generation, parents need to learn how to communicate the way their kids do if they want to stay in touch. It’s risky to get locked into the same way you’ve always done it.

Marriage and parenting in this generation is more challenging than ever before. For married couples there is more temptation out there than ever before to be unfaithful. It is easier to not communicate in person and simply send emails, twitters and texts. There are a gazillion television channels to tune into while you tune out your spouse and family. That’s why you might need to re-think the way you do things.

Being locked into a mindset is as comfortable as a worn-out pair of jeans or shoes. You know exactly how they feel on your body and feet. There’s no mystery. No second-guessing. You’ve worn them long enough to know how they perform. They’re a safe choice.

Whether it’s an attitude, appearance or a method of getting something done, there’s a certain security when you lock into something, but there’s a danger too. That’s the risk of getting locked in and limiting your ability to see something from another point of view.


Winning At Home encourages people at all ages and stages of
family development to lead Christ-centered homes.