Marriage At Risk- Looking Outside

There are certain patterns that show up in marriages at risk. This week, we’re going to talk about something as destructive as keeping secrets: when spouses look for fulfillment outside their relationship.

This ‘fulfillment’ I’m talking about can be a number of things, but usually it shows up as some kind of emotional or sexual connection. Taken to its limit, we all know that this is the stuff of cheating and affairs. But it doesn’t usually start at the limit, does it? Instead, the beginnings are often as simple as a quickened heart rate.

It’s seeing that other person—a neighbor, a coworker, an acquaintance, an old flame—and wondering what they think of you. It’s getting a compliment from someone of the opposite sex, just when you need one, or getting concern from them when you don’t feel cared for. It’s any number of countless moments—tiny, insignificant moments that are incredibly significant.

Have you started traveling down one of those roads? Are you pursuing fulfillment outside your relationship with your spouse?  If you’ve made a commitment to be married for life, then it’s time to start making better choices.

You can begin by accepting responsibility for your behavior and by admitting it’s wrong. Then seek out a counselor, pastor, family member, or trusted friend who will support you in building your marriage. Ask them to help you keep yourself in check, and then—here’s the kicker—start doing what you should have done all along: look inside your marriage for fulfillment.

Train yourself to seek an emotional and sexual connection with your spouse first and with your spouse only. Then, when it comes to fulfillment, you’ll be building a marriage with an incredibly low risk.