On How To Start Healing From Past Hurt/Abuse/Trauma

“In his book, The Inner Voice of Love (Nouwen, 1996), author Henri Nouwen discusses the power of powerlessness. He talks about how a person must recognize their own need for help in order to be helped.  Nouwen (1996, p. 30) says, ‘Simply start by admitting that you cannot cure yourself. You have to say yes fully to your powerlessness (inability to heal yourself) in order to let God heal you.’

This is true for anyone who experiences harm against themselves, and especially true in cases of abuse. There is a natural tendency for people to want to fix themselves and not bother other people in the process. It comes from living in a culture that applauds independence as well as from a personal need to control every area of your life. People who have been abused experienced a tremendous loss of control during those assaults and are reluctant to ever be in that position again. However, in order to receive the full strength of God to heal, you have to give up your power and control to Him. Only then can He work in your life and bring restoration.

God has everything you need! Once you give up your power to Him, the healing process can begin. You must recognize that God is the source of power that gives your life meaning and value. You must ask Him for strength to stop believing the wrong sources and for faith to believe in the power of the One True Source. This needs to be done daily—sometimes hourly—sometimes minute by minute.

There are things in this world we simply have no control over (i.e. taxes, death, the past, or things God allows). Because of this, you may experience negative thought patterns or behavior you can’t control, no matter how hard you try. You might feel you should be able to solve these problems on your own and when you find you can’t, you feel inadequate or fearful. Fearful of your own future, past, change, or your journey toward wholeness and healing.

When your pain, from relying on others or on circumstances to determine your value as a person, outweighs your fear of change, then transformation can occur.

The power to heal lies in the concept of grace—and when you give God power over your life, you will start to bloom. Like a newly planted seed, the growth won’t happen overnight. Know that over time, with proper love, care, and nurturing, you will flourish into a new creature that can learn to embrace and love life.”

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness… I can do immeasurably more than you ask or imagine.”—2 Corinthians 12:9 & Ephesians 3:20

-excerpt from “Winning the Battle Over Abuse”, by Dr. Peter Newhouse


Blessed are those whose attitudes are shaped by their hopes, not their hurts.

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