The Only Choice

Plain and simple, there isn’t much fun in failing. I thought about this the other day after I talked with a guy (we’ll call him “Dave”) about his first marriage. The relationship had failed. Bridges were burned, with hurts and misunderstandings exchanged on both sides. What had started out as love and fireworks eventually became only anger and ashes.

They couldn’t get along. They couldn’t find middle ground. Things got worse and worse and as much as they fought to save their marriage, they eventually reached a place where it didn’t seem worth saving anymore.

By the end of it all, Dave and his wife wanted nothing to do with each other. She wouldn’t speak to him, he didn’t want to see her, and vice versa.

So they signed the necessary paperwork, split up their stuff, and went in different directions. They broke things off, but it was not a clean break by any means. It was difficult and painful. Even now, years later, the divorce doesn’t feel like a resolution.

In talking to Dave about his first marriage, it’s obvious immediately that the feeling of failure is still raw for him. He knows it’s over and he’s not trying to get his former wife back, but he wishes they hadn’t given up like they did. Knowing what he knows now, he can’t help but wonder if they could have found a way to make it work somehow.

Dave is older now and wiser. He loves his new wife like crazy, but it’s not because she’s better than his first wife was. He loves her like crazy because he knows he has to. He is determined to have marriage success this time, and he knows that love is the only choice to make.